Girls, "Boys", and Life-Affirming Truths

If you would've asked me this morning what I would write a blog post about today, I would have laughed at you. Blog? Me? Today? Ha.

But, if I had to, I would tell you that I would probably write about being pseudo-mom the past few days, maybe, if I had time, which I didn't/won't/still don't.

But here I am, and I am not writing about being pseudo-mom. That was interesting, maybe I'll write about it another time, but no, I'm writing about what a 20 year old BYU co-ed should be writing about. BOYS. Yup. Are you proud of me? You should be.

I just spent the last two hours sitting with 5 or 6 girls from my major, and despite classes now officially over, and the start of finals beginning, we talked nothing about school. We talked BOYS. I'm talking "I was engaged before," "How many relationships have you been in," "How'd you meet," SERIOUS girl talk, about boys. And it made me realize a couple of things.

1. I need to go to my own ward, and you know, like actually TALK to a boy or two that is in the same "place" as me. That would probably be a good idea.

2. I am inexperienced. I think thats okay, though.

I don't know what it all means, or if its important, or if I need to go purge the potato chips I had for dinner (don't worry, I wouldn't actually do that. I mean the purge part. I definitely did the potato chips part.) so that I could feel a little more confident physically or whatever, but I forgot to mention one more thing I learned/remembered/reinforced.

3. I like myself. I am at a place in my life where I like myself! If I am okay with who I am, it doesn't matter if I have a date every weekend, or if I have a date this year; I'm happy with who I am, and I think thats pretty cool.

See, this is how okay with myself I am. I was layin' on a dolphin at a park. You know. Whatevs. :)

Two Years Ago Today

I do not have time to write this, but I don't care.

I am a chicken and usually don't put details about my real "life" up for the world to see. I don't think thats changing today, but suffice it to say, music takes me right on back to two years ago today. I was mending an old friendship and starting a new one. I made brownies for both. I wrote in my journal: "I love it when he looks me straight in the eye."

One year later I bought a tie and candy and shipped it away in a square, flat, box.

Today I was busy busy busy. Last day of cohort. Homework. Just got home from a trip=craziness. But I listen to the music, and I'm right back to two years ago, even if I am a slacker.

I'm scared of posting this.

Listen to This Song!

Okay, so I just found this AMAZING song by Regina Spektor. Its on the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian soundtrack.

You can listen to it through this video from youtube, though the video's not necessarily awesome, the song is amazing.

The best songs are the ones that we can relate to.

I'm a Teacher!

Today, for the first time, I was in charge of a whole class of Second Graders by myself. It was amazing. Going into it, I was REALLY nervous. I kept having thoughts like "what if they kill each other?", or "what if they won't listen?". I tried to keep my cool though, say a prayer, and just took a really big deep breath before I went in.

It wasn't perfect, you know, but it was good! The kids were really cute. They wanted to know all about me, almost to the extent they didn't want to get anything done! But they did, eventually. I helped them with their centers work, I sent them to recess, we watched a movie, we did the calendar, we read a book, and they went to lunch. That's really all that happened. There were plenty of questions and "thats not how we do that" kinds of things going on, but in general, they were good. I know I could've managed them better, but it was my first day so I can't beat myself up too much.

The whole experience was just another reinforcer that this is what I should be doing. I don't know that it will be perfect, or that I'll love every second of teaching, but I feel like its the right place for me to be right now. I just love seeing learning in students eyes. I know its silly and idealistic, but I really do believe that teaching can be my way to "save the world" (just like you, mom.) I'm so excited!

A Nice, Quiet Evening

What a weird Friday night. I hardly slept last night, because I was finishing a take home midterm for my 8am class this morning, so I took a nap this afternoon. I meant it to be about an hour- even set an alarm. FIVE, count them, five hours later I woke up. I must have been seriously sleep deprived. Wow. It felt good, but now its 2am and I'm wide awake.

Anyway, my nap/sleep all day made for a pretty quiet evening. I hung with my roommate and a couple other people who came over a bit, watched a little Olympics (can I just say, I LOVE Evan Lysachek, even if his masculinity is "meticulously cultivated"), and took a bath. It sounds like a quiet evening, but I actually really enjoyed it. Sometimes NOT going out on a Friday night is kind of nice. There is a tendency towards feeling a bit lonely, but really, it feels good to just chill; to do what I want to do, without worrying too much about what other people are thinking about it.

Now I'm writing a blog post, reading a crappy LDS novel, and knitting. It sounds like something a depressed person does, but the more I do these relaxing things I like, the more I realize its really not depressing, but enjoyable. This is not to say I want to sit around all the time with no direction or purpose, but once in a while its really nice. Go try it sometime.

My New and Improved Job-less Life

The title makes it sound negative, but if you read my first post, you'll know its really not. I am so excited about the rest of this semester. I am excited to do my best work, and be my best self. I keep saying how I am going to be super woman, and I really think I am. So, I know this is like a month and a half late, but I'm making some resolutions. Hopefully writing them down will be a good way to make me do it.

Here's the goals:

1) Get ALL my homework DONE, ON TIME.

2) Improve my scripture reading and prayer= do it EVERYDAY.

3) Clean up my room, and keep it that way.

4) Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Bed by no later than Midnight, up no later than 8. You have no idea how foreign that sounds to me, but I know it will be good.

5) Eat less junk and fit exercise into my life= three times a week.

6) Go to the temple regularly.

So... I'll report on my progress. I'm gonna go put away the Salt & Vinegar Chips now.

Happy Valentines Day!

Is it just me, or has this Valentines day seemed extra extended? I mean, everyone talks about it Friday at school, they buy stuff on Saturday, and it gets distributed today... Call me cynical, or just call me single, I guess I'm hyper aware. It actually hasn't been bad, considering. No moping, no depressed-ness... I just heard about it a lot. My only Valelntinesness was reading a sappy Mormon romance novel. Win.

My favorite part of today was ice dancing- the married Chinese couple Zhang and Zhang doing a beautiful, flawless, best scored short program ever- it was way cool. I am a total Olympics nerd, and proud of it. I'm not a sports girl, but I love the Olympics. I love getting chills while watching TV. What could be better? Winter Olympics especially remind me of where they were here in Salt Lake. I was in seventh grade, and I actually had the amazing opportunity to go to the closing ceremonies. It was so cool. I remember being really cold, seeing some amazing performers and fireworks, and just feeling the amazing spirit of world unity.

See those white "snowballs"? I totally have one. Its gonna be worth like a million bucks one day. I can't wait for my posterity to be on Antiques Roadshow. :)